I was very religious when I was a young kid. But around the age of 13, I lost interest in religion. Then over the period of several years, spirituality slowly crept back into my life in several small ways. In 2013, I started observing a few things ever since I moved to Mumbai after my major relationship break up. These are random, unrelated observations, hence putting each separately.
In Mumbai & Pune: I lived alone once, though at other times I would have flatmates. Living with flatmates constituted complete privacy because we had our own separate rooms and attached bathrooms, sharing only the living room and the kitchen. I changed houses many times across different cities. It seemed like destiny would just not allow me to rest in one place for long. Interestingly, Uranus transit happened to be on the 10th cusp of my natal chart during those years. And no matter where I went, I saw pigeons in my house. I didn’t think much of it until I changed cities and still saw pigeons making a nest in my house. It continued no matter how many houses I changed until I moved to Hyderabad.
Strange things: Another thing I noticed was doors in my room or bathrooms opening or closing on their own, even when all the windows were shut. There was no wind or plausible explanation behind it. This phenomenon was however restricted only in two houses in Mumbai. I never felt scared but always felt curious as to how is that happening. I thoroughly investigated, but couldn’t make sense of it.
In Hyderabad: I started being more open to ‘signs’ and omens in my life after that. I remember once during my first intimate moment with my boyfriend, the lights in my room suddenly started switching on and off on their own for like 5-10 secs. The fan was working perfectly fine, and we had an inverter for a power outage. Which made me realize that there were no power fluctuations to cause that. Just before I was getting intimate, I received two back to back phone calls as if they were trying to interrupt me. (I usually don’t get phone calls because I hate talking over the phone. People usually message me before calling, unless it’s urgent or it’s my family.) It was like the universe was trying to tell me to stop what I was going to do. Eventually, that relationship turned out to be the most devastating experience of my life and didn’t even last long.
The year 2020: Recently I went through a deep existential crisis. Some sort of a deja vu happened in my life. I experienced all the signs of spiritual awakening as mentioned on this website like –
- You feel lost in life
- You long for a place that feels like your ‘true home’
- You keep wondering what your meaning or purpose is
- You feel like you have a big destiny to fulfil (which is yet to be revealed)
- You’re experiencing strange synchronicities, signs, and omens
- You’re shedding your old self and are transforming, but you don’t know who you truly are yet
- You experience bouts of melancholy, depression, and existential crisis
- A lot of what you once valued seems meaningless and empty
I read Simon Sinek’s books on ‘Find your why’, ‘Find your passion’ by Henri Junttila, and numerous articles and blog posts on finding my life’s purpose. But nothing rang any bell. Finally, I went back to the arms of astrology, this time a specific one. I felt at ease to some extent. But I still don’t feel content with what I know about the occult, spirituality and such esoteric topics. I feel there’s so much left to know out there which I have not explored. And these thoughts bothered me for the last 6 months so much that I couldn’t focus on myself or my career. I didn’t prepare for interviews and kept getting rejected. I gained weight by 12 kg and was detected with many physical ailments. After a lot of inaction and pondering, this time I decided to simply follow my instincts in my spiritual growth and journey. I will share some updates as and when I make any progress.
There was a time in the past when I often wondered why I attract the same kind of negative circumstances in my life. It’s as if I noticed a pattern repeating itself and I felt frustrated, angry, and helpless because I didn’t know how to change it. For you, it could look like changing a job only to find the same kind of nonsense repeating in the new job you joined. Or it could look like you are getting attracted to the same type of romantic partner who leaves you feeling broken.
The best part is you don’t have to go through what I did without knowing how to stop it. Here’s the link to the free podcast where I share how to replace a negative belief responsible for the repeating patterns with a positive one: https://abetterliving.co/how-to-stop-feeling-upset/
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