Stop tolerating bad behaviors

Stop the abuse and bad behavior! Any behavior that is upsetting, stressful, and frustrating has to be stopped. And if you don’t speak up, the perpetrator will never stop. Silence is consent. Are you going to take any action or silently suffer?

Warning: podcast has strong language.

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Podcast Intro music credits:
Track Name: Good vibes only
Artist: Elephant Funeral
Album: Unfinished tales

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A Better Living

Moumita publishes podcasts on self-improvements, self-care, developing life skills & living a better quality of life🎙️💃✨
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About Moumita: A senior product manager by profession (Ex- Amazon, Walt Disney). Computer science engineer and MBA (ISB) by education. She has a total of 14 years of work experience. She loves reading and learning about human psychology, career success, astrology, space, the origin of life, and esoteric subjects. Recently she underwent a spiritual awakening and discovered that she is an Andromedan Starseed.

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Stop tolerating bad behavior

Stop the abuse and bad behavior! Any behavior that is upsetting, stressful, and frustrating has to be stopped. And if you don’t speak up, the perpetrator will never stop. Silence is consent. Are you going to take any action or silently suffer?

Podcast transcript: https://abetterliving.co/stop-tolerating-bad-behaviors/

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Intro music credits:
Track Name: Good vibes only
Artist: Elephant Funeral
Album: Unfinished tales

Podcast transcript

[00:00:00] I wanted to share a thought on kindness and how you treat other people. So when I went through my spiritual awakening, I thought that probably now I will be much more open and, more caring and kind and what not towards people. You know what did I observe? I started seeing that I had closed my mind to people’s toxicity when I was not spiritually awakened.

[00:00:30] But the moment I was awakened, I started noticing the toxic behaviors in people. Things, which I did not think toxic before. I suddenly started noticing those things. And I’m like- “how did I tolerate these kinds of nonsense for so long”?

[00:00:46] All those people who have closed their eyes to reality and preaching that- “oh, we should be nice and kind to everybody”. You are wrong. There is God in everyone. I had been practicing fairness, kindness, and all those good things with others. And you know what happens when you are practicing kindness with a person whose God is sleeping within him or her? When they haven’t been spiritually awakened or when they have not opened their eyes to the reality of things? If I’m interacting with an asshole or a bully, and if I’m practicing kindness, can you predict what the outcome would be?

[00:01:32] It would be a total disaster because these people have not awakened the God in them. If your third eye has not opened, and if you are going to continuously behave and act like asshole, which hurts other people, then you have to be treated like one.

[00:01:50] So if you are practicing kindness with assholes, then you are doing it all wrong. When you are being nice with the person who is displaying toxic behavior, you are sending a signal to that person that- “that is okay. That kind of behavior is okay. I will accept it. And hence I will not protest it. I will either silently tolerate it. Or ignore it as if I haven’t seen it. Or I’m just going to still be nice and kind, and try to explain things to you”.

[00:02:20] So an asshole would not realize that that kind of a behavior is not acceptable. So there are two kinds of assholes. The ones that are doing it deliberately. And the ones that are not doing it deliberately.

[00:02:31] In both the situations, if you don’t call out on that nonsense, if you don’t speak up, or if you don’t say that whatever you’re doing is not acceptable- it’s not going to work. They are not going to change the behavior.

[00:02:48] Why do you think there are so many police officers and law enforcers?

[00:02:52] If everybody could be talked down by just niceness and kindness, would we really require law enforcers? No, right? There are rapes happening in the world. There are robberies happening in the world. There are forced entries into homes. Why are these things happening? Should we close our eyes and say that- “oh no, we just talk with niceness and kindness with everybody. And everybody will listen”.

[00:03:17] If that was the case, then we would have not needed law enforcers. We would have needed some spiritual teachers to go and talk to these people and they would have just stopped doing things. Because the reality has both beauty and ugliness. So let’s accept it the way it is.

[00:03:35] It is okay to defend yourself. It is okay to fight back when somebody is crossing your boundaries, violating your rights. It is okay to get back with force to people whose gods have not awakened. Because the only way you can awaken them is to say- “stop”.

[00:04:00] This nonsense has to stop. Enough is enough. And if you continue doing these, these are the ultimatums”. Only that way, things will change. That’s the only way.

[00:04:13] So if you are in, if you’re not sure whether you should fight back to somebody who’s bothering you, if somebody is causing you stress or pain, or making you put up with things you don’t want to put up with,… this is your time. This is your time to speak up.

[00:04:35] If they were nice people, if they would have understood language of niceness, that I’m sure you would have already tried that, and that would have already worked. It didn’t. That’s the reason why you are being silent and tolerating it. That’s the reason why you are trying to be nice and de -escalating things. And that’s not working.

[00:04:56] They should know that you are not somebody to fuck around with. You have to show you a backbone. Those assholes know that they can’t just do any nonsense and get away with it. There will be consequences.

[00:05:12] They’ll immediately start changing their behavior because they know they can’t get away with it anymore. You are going to defend your rights. You are going to speak up against their nonsense. That’s the only way. Facing your biggest fears are the only way out.

[00:05:29] When you are thinking about what ultimatums you have to give to somebody to stop their nonsensical behavior, think through the consequences. Also think through whether the ultimatum would actually work in your favor or not. Because remember assholes are assholes, right? They are going to do everything to continue their own nonsense and make everybody adjust to their own shitty behavior.

[00:05:57] So you have to maybe consult a few people before you speak up, to get some ideas. Or Google a little bit. Do your research. What are your rights and how you can fight them. There are different ways to fight back. Don’t do something that will work against you.

[00:06:14] Don’t do something stupid that will make things worse for you. Mistakes, like a eye for an eye. Or I’m going to fight a fist with another fist. Sometimes that may not be the best course of action. So think through what kind of consequences or ultimatums that you are giving- which would actually bring about change. And where things will actually be in your favor. You can involve an authority to intervene. Or you can involve some third parties to intervene if required. Most of the time we ourselves can fight back. It’s just that we don’t exercise that choice.

[00:06:59] Another mistake that you should definitely avoid is showing sympathy or pity.

[00:07:05] “Oh, they are entitled to that behavior because they have lost somebody”. Or they’re broken. Or blah-blah-blah. Don’t give excuses and tolerate shitty behavior. A shitty behavior is a shitty behavior. Doesn’t matter what trauma or tragedy has happened to that asshole so that he started becoming like asshole.

[00:07:26] It is that person’s responsibility to heal himself or herself.

[00:07:31] They have no reason, or they have no rights to hurt other people just because some tragedy has happened to them. And it would be stupidity on your part to justify shitty behavior saying that something bad happened to this person. So let’s just tolerate it. Let’s just give him time. No.

[00:07:50] You can empathize with the person’s loss. You can tell them that- I can help you with this. I don’t know whatever you’re doing right now has a correlation with whatever nonsense you have gone through. You cannot go around hurting and harming other people just because you have a bad experience in your life.

[00:08:11] So many of us have bad experiences in our lives. But we choose not to be assholes with others. That’s a choice. Being an asshole is a choice. Being a bully is a choice. They are making that choice and they are defending their behavior with some excuse. And you are actually falling for it or believing it. Why?

[00:08:33] Everybody should be looking towards their own happiness and not causing other people pain. That would have been the ideal way of living. But nobody does that. We are constantly interfering and meddling with other people’s business and ruining their happinesses.

[00:08:53] Why can’t we just fucking mind our own businesses?

[00:08:57] And when you are giving ultimatums, when you are telling them there will be consequences, then make sure you follow through them. Think through what are the consequences that will bring a stop to this nonsensical behavior. And then follow through. Just fighting an empty gun will not help. Because then the perpetrators will know that- “okay, they’re just giving me empty threats. They’re not actually going to do anything”.

[00:09:28] You will be only taken seriously when you are following through what you said you will do. Then you will become a force to reckon with. People will take you seriously, because whatever you say you are going to do that. It is another way of showing your integrity.

[00:09:46] When you fight back, then the assholes would be like- ” why am I facing so much resistance? What am I doing wrong”? Or that will stop them and make them think. The point of fighting back, or not tolerating nonsense, and defending yourself, or your rights is: to clearly signal completely selfish and close minded people that- that is not acceptable. They have to change because they are causing you pain.

[00:10:23] And only then change will happen. Change will not happen if you silently tolerated. Change will not happen when an asshole is being an asshole with you and you are just trying to be nice and kind with them. Remember, pain is a great teacher. All changes are initiated because of pain. People always try to move away from something that is causing them pain.

[00:10:48] Pain is an indicator that we are moving in the wrong direction. We have to move in the direction of happiness. That is the job of pain. I’m not asking you to cause pain to other people. What I’m saying is speak up when somebody is causing pain to you. Tell them that – “you are causing me pain, and this is not acceptable”.

[00:11:07] Tell them exactly the reason how they are causing you pain. If required, you give them solutions that – “you can do this, this, this, but definitely not this because this is stressing me out. And if you don’t stop, I’m going to do something that you are not going to like”. That should be more than enough to suddenly put a pause to all that nonsense that’s going on.

[00:11:32] And people will start listening. “Why am I being reported against? Why is this person complaining”? That would be rattling them out of their sleep. Bringing awareness that something that they are doing is not right. And that has to stop. Or there will be consequences.

[00:11:51] You are not going out of the way to hurt other people. You are saying that- “you are violating my boundaries. Just don’t do that”. And there is nothing wrong with it. You have every right to defend yourself and defend your rights. Don’t be silent. Speak up. Act now.

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