Blending with others when you don’t fit in

I thought of writing this post for those rare people who probably resonate with feeling weird/misfit in this world – the outer planet people. There is hope for those who feel isolated and don’t belong anywhere. Unless your value system upsets your neighborhood’s values entirely, time usually makes people adapt to you. Initially, you may struggle a lot trying to adapt to others. But the longer people are exposed to you being “you”, the more they become adaptable and tolerant to the diversity you add to their life. Even in small ways, you grow on them.

Before I dive into the topic more deeply, I want to share an astrological perspective first. In astrology, I am not a big proponent of using outer planets like Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto. However, recently these outer planets fascinated me when I was reading Donna Cunningham’s How to read your astrological chart’ (natal astrology). She described what an ‘outer planet personality’ is. It’s when outer planets like Uranus, Neptune, and Pluto either-

  • falls in 10 degrees either side of the ascendant, mid heaven, descendant or IC, known as Gauquelin’s sector.
  • are aspected by the most number of planets, especially by the ascendant ruler, sun or moon (the big three).
  • are part of any major configuration like a Grand trine, T-square or Grand cross.
  • The sign the planet rules contains one of the big three or several planets.
  • The house connected with the planet contains one of the big three or several planets. e.g. Uranus rules Aquarius, the 11th sign in the zodiac. So many planets in the 11th house amplify 11th house vibes.

The more of these conditions that apply to a planet, the more that planet typifies the individual. Apparently, Uranus is strong in my chart, based on those factors. That seemed to resonate with me, considering I often get misunderstood. In my college life, I have suffered for standing up for what I have felt to be right. There are many other instances where my simple sentences seemed sarcastic when I was not. Whereas, when I am genuinely sarcastic, people think I am serious :/. There are many other Uranian traits like rebelliousness, open-mindedness, innovation, etc. Being me has been difficult in a society where the general stereotype is completely opposite of who I am.

your personality as a pie

The proportions of the pie are just for a fun illustration only. You may start out showing parts of you that people are more tolerant of. Your personality is like a pie, but not everyone gets to see the whole of it. Some of the people you know will know some parts of that pie because you chose to show only that to them. While some of them will see the other parts of you, which your family may not experience at all. And your friends will know the larger parts of you where smaller parts overlap. But with time and trust, you can start showing glimpses of the unseen parts of you to people who haven’t experienced it yet. It is sad that we fully don’t get to be 100% authentic with everyone, especially if we are a rare or misunderstood personality. I have seen so many of my Indian friends having multiple accounts on Facebook- one for family and one for I don’t know who. But they use them both and the type of posts in each are different. That is a good example of not being able to be authentic because our family doesn’t approve of it.

That’s a fun discovery for others. Sometimes it’s not so fun. But in that process, you truly figure out who your true friends are. And those who are not. Life is too short to mingle with people who don’t care or like being with you. Being you is the only way to stop wasting energy in creating a false image and rejecting your true self. Don’t believe in “Fake it till you make it”. Then you will be living a lie all throughout your life. Find a place of joy where you feel like you belong. It need not be the physical neighborhood where you live. It could be your workplace. It could be your online community. It could be in your hobby. Find that place where you don’t have to pretend and can be truly who you are. Where you can express yourself honestly without any judgment or harshness. If you can’t find a place to belong, create your own space and allow similar people to join you. Even if you just found one person with who you feel truly yourself, that’s enough. That’s your first friend in your journey of living an authentic life. You don’t need a crowd. This song’s video sums up what I am trying to say. What do you think? I would love to know your thoughts.

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